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ayaerhis

newly appointed god of misery
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I updated something! Go look: ayaerhis.deviantart.com/art/Ne…

I'm quite proud of it. Written for a class I'm taking online, but I'm still pleased.


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How crappy is it that I manage to get sick right at the end of the holidays? THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME!!!! I was sick at the beginning of winter break, and now I seem to have caught something else at the end of it! I could definitely be happier right about now...

But, I do have my cat, and my mommy, and a warm place to sleep tonight, so I should be grateful by all stretches of the imagination. I'm just feeling kinda miserable cuz my throat is sore and I have some major vertigo issues when I stand and sit down.

Welcome 2010! You mark the point where the Mayan calendar has only three years left before the end of the world! I'm eager to meet you, and see what you have in store, and hopefully you'll have less sickness and unhappiness for the world at large in your plans. I hope for a sunrise, and a new dawn where hopefully war will end, and peace will be embraced by all peoples.



Love by Ishdakitty Abstinence by TheArtistDarklady Nothing by Mr-Stamp :thumb78103826: Writers Stamp by shadow-wolf-haunts I know stamp by EvilSaku Fave and Run Stamp by StampsbyJen I Take a Long Time To Do Shit by DSMeatte Cartoon Watcher Stamp by Toonfreak teddy stamp by findyQ I imagine with music Stamp by tastelessfate HOUSE M.D. Stamp by Philosophical-Art Loveless stamp by kimphantom94 :thumb67853186:


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I'm home for the winter break, which means I get nearly a month with no classes.

I. Am. Lost.

I need something to keep me busy, and I don't quite know where I'm going to find that after next week. I'm gonna work with kids for a week at my old middle/high school, but then I'm going to be out of a mission. Help?

Any suggestions are welcome at this point.


Love by Ishdakitty Abstinence by TheArtistDarklady Nothing by Mr-Stamp :thumb78103826: Writers Stamp by shadow-wolf-haunts I know stamp by EvilSaku Fave and Run Stamp by StampsbyJen I Take a Long Time To Do Shit by DSMeatte Cartoon Watcher Stamp by Toonfreak teddy stamp by findyQ I imagine with music Stamp by tastelessfate HOUSE M.D. Stamp by Philosophical-Art Loveless stamp by kimphantom94 :thumb67853186:


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Other than using this as an excuse to try a new journal skin and update my 'mood' icon, life has been less than perfect as of late.

But that's how it's supposed to be, right?

All the love I'd held at the end of last year is now gone, leaving an aching void in its wake, and issues that already existed are preventing me from forming lasting attachments to people. I'm scared of myself in that respect. I don't want to lose people, but I'm afraid of them as well. What if they hurt me?

But that's how it's supposed to be, right?

I don't like waking up before the sun rises, and I've been doing a lot of that lately, exhausting my body and mind, and so I finally got sick here at school. I could definitely use a nice long nap, or a cure, or anything at all. When I get sick, it's usually the things that lay other people out for a week, so I should be grateful, shouldn't I? Well, I still wish that I never got sick at all.

But that's how it's supposed to be, right?

I can't have what I wanted this year, and in some ways that's okay with me. In some ways it makes me sad beyond belief and just makes me want to scream and cry and kick and curl up somewhere dark and warm and not make a sound until spring comes because that's when the sun comes back and wakes me up and sends me to sleep in regular intervals. When the dew starts dripping from the newly formed leaves and blades of grass to settle in the earth and make it smell new and revitalized. But all I get right now is the rain, falling from the sky in torrents, dragging the bright red leaves off of the trees to rot on the ground.

But that's how it's supposed to be, right?

I want to feel happy, but I'm a little lost at the moment.
It's how everything's supposed to be. Nothing's perfect, nothing lasts, nothing waits for you to just stumble upon it. I have to be patient now, even though it's this small agony that I have to pay, and wait for the spring, when maybe my heart will hear the call of the rain and the leaves and the gently warming air and decide that maybe it'll grow again.

Yes, that's how it's supposed to be. I hope...



Love by Ishdakitty Abstinence by TheArtistDarklady Nothing by Mr-Stamp :thumb78103826: Writers Stamp by shadow-wolf-haunts I know stamp by EvilSaku Fave and Run Stamp by StampsbyJen I Take a Long Time To Do Shit by DSMeatte Cartoon Watcher Stamp by Toonfreak teddy stamp by findyQ I imagine with music Stamp by tastelessfate HOUSE M.D. Stamp by Philosophical-Art Loveless stamp by kimphantom94 :thumb67853186:


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Newest Addition

1 min read
(Mood would be happy if not for the freeze...)

I just bought myself my first subscription to dA, so from now on you'll be seeing that little asterisk by my penname up  there.

If anyone wants to use my shoutbox, please! I'd love to know who wants to talk to me. I like people. Even more so because of my summer of solitude away from school.

This should be a fun year, I'd think. Let's see what I can do with this baby!
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Featured

For the first time in forever... by ayaerhis, journal

The Day Before The Day by ayaerhis, journal

Home for the holidays by ayaerhis, journal

Yeah. That' how it is... by ayaerhis, journal

Newest Addition by ayaerhis, journal